“Bournemouth In A New Light”

Last year when my dad came down to visit me at uni he took some great pictures of Bournemouth and edited them on a special editing programme he has on his c0mputer.

I asked for a few to print off for my room to brighten it up a bit. Here are a selection of some he sent me:

Bournemouth beach during the height of summer!!

Bournemouth Helter Skelter!

Cute decking chairs on the beach 🙂

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Overstepped

Oh he is vile. Undoubtedly, sickeningly, vile.

Why does he always have to say all sorts of crude things like that, it’s enough to make any normal heterosexual woman convert suddenly to lesbianism. All the gay men will start declaring themselves on the straight and narrow, while I’ll be sitting here saying – Yes. I knew it. Could have told you this five years ago when he took a cheap shot at me in a business meeting. Who the hell can pass around sheets of paper and manages a touch up in front of fifteen other members of staff? All of them completely oblivious of course. Or perhaps just playing the part of innocent bystander – if you just ignore it, it never happened in the first place.

So he’s standing here now. Leaning up against the frame of his office door, basically leering down at me.

I ignore him and pretend to be engrossed in my work. I have a word document open and I begin drafting a letter to an imaginary client. If I look busy, I’m praying to myself, maybe he’ll stay away.

 “Dear Mrs Kilby…”

 Oh god he’s walking over. Perfect.

 “Due to our recent phone conversation on the 16/08/09….”

 Out of the corner of my eye I spot Deirdre from accounts staring over at us. Not discreetly either, full frontal and in my face, eye boggling. Most probably taking down notes for her radio news show in the staff room.  Word on the street is that Kev and I are always the hot topic, broadcast on a regular basis.

“…I am pleased to inform you that we would be delighted to…”.

“Hey Sugar-Muffin.”

Good grief! Where on earth does he find these ridiculous terms of endearment?

I pause my executive letter, fingers hovering over the keyboard, and express my best dramatic ‘Oh you have just interrupted me from my very important work letter!’ glare.

“Hey Kev.”

I look up to his face, his disgusting, pig eyed, pervy face. Then make a pointed look towards my computer screen.

“Fancy grabbing some lunch today…alone?” He says, licking his dry lips.

In the background I can see Deirdre about to explode with this juicy bit of meat she’s now got for her coffee break slot. Anyone could tell she was dying to move the News at Noon to the News Right Now.

Thank god I already had an escape plan in mind.

“Ohh, I’m very sorry Kev but I’ve got a business lunch today with…Mr Doyle. Yes, Trevor Doyle is his name. But I think Mandy actually missed it off the scheduling programme, you know how she gets with this new Word software…”

The disappointment is showing all over his face and his shoulders are drooping further than his hunched back will normally let on. Pathetic.

He moves in closer regardless. Then leans down till our faces are almost touching.

“I’ll make it worth your while…”

I glance at Deirdre and she’s put her glasses to the tip of her hooked nose and shuffling her papers with unnecessary vigour. Her eyes that shone so intensely with curiosity have now misted over with a different kind of understanding.

I feel his calloused hand on my leg before I see it, sending shivers of the wrong kind up my spine.

*

Twenty minutes later, I’m in the staff room, alone. No one should be in here; there’s a fire drill briefing happening right now. Adrenaline pumps through my body and the nerves shakes me right through.

Ok, I think, I can do this. I can go through with this. It won’t be that bad.

Then I spot the slow movement of the door handle been pushed down. The creak of the door as they slip in to the room.

“Hi.” I pause nervously. “You honestly…we honestly… don’t have to do this?”

Deirdre’s distressed face peers back at me.

“It’s alright you know, I want to. I’ve been noticing for weeks his inappropriate behaviour towards you and, well, you clearly need help…”

“And if it goes to court?” I add quickly.

“I’ll be there” she replies, her expression screwed up in an annoying gesture of pity.

“I’ll testify, as will Louise, Sam, Thom and Nathaniel. We all saw what happened in that boardroom and we haven’t forgotten. It’s about time that creep got his comeuppance!”

I breathe out slowly, a long, overdue sigh of relief.  Thank God. Thank God, it will be all right.

Deirdre leans into hug me and I stiffen at the thought of touching her bony body. She notices and whimpers, “ Oh, look what he’s done to you, you poor thing! Here let me get you a cup of tea…”

“Actually Deirdre I’d rather be alone right now, get my head round this whole thing, I want to start the suing process straight away and I need a few moments to let it digest. If you wouldn’t mind?”

As soon as she’s gone I pull out my phone and begin deleting its contents. I skip past inbox; no doubt I’ll need a few of the suggestive ones for the case.

In my sent box I delete every text I can find.

“Last night was amazing”

and then

“I’ve got a suprise for you baby”

and then

“You’re such a brilliant lover, I want this to last forever”

 I’d already taken the liberty of deleting these same texts off Kev’s phone last night when he went for a shower in the morning. I wiped the evidence clean away.

But now I let a genuine smile slip through my lips. After ten weeks of secretly seducing, hiding the affair and setting up scenes of “indecent behaviour” I feel I definitely needed a well-deserved pat on the back and one hell of a pay rise. Which, by my lawyers reckoning, I’m pretty sure this court case is going to cover.

 Yet I’m feeling pretty nervous about this one. All the others just paid me the one off sum I’d proposed and let me go from the company quietly. I’ve always known Kev doesn’t have the right kind money I’m looking for, but I knew that the business did. With this much support on my side I’m all set for the jackpot I’ve been searching for.

And, unquestionably, when Kev is sacked by the time the news of my terrible sexual harassment gets out, the position of deputy manager will be open for the most clever and cunning employee this company currently owns. Me.

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Lost In The Middle

 

 

Being a middle child in the family may not seem like a very big problem to an average person. However many middle children today still feel the conflicts and anguish that can arise from the pressure of being in between an older sibling and a younger sibling.

  I was about 12 years old when I first noticed something was different between myself and my older sister, Rachel and my younger sister, Meg. Rachel was 15 whilst Meg was 7. The age gaps weren’t too big between us, but there was still a gap – and I was still in between.

      However I must stress that there has never been a point where I’ve felt ungrateful for having two sisters. I enjoyed the company and being able to spend time with them as a child, and of course having sisters meant we could share gossip together and talk about girly things. But by the age of 12, I felt myself constantly making comparisons against them and the way my parents treated them. I would notice how Meg was always being called “sweet” and “the baby” who couldn’t do anything for herself and constantly received little presents. Rachel was always praised for anything she did, from grades she received at school to the way she dressed. Being in between them both I felt like I had to try twice as hard to get the attention from my parents. I wanted to be cute like Meg yet successful like Rachel.

       However I am not alone in my convictions of being a middle child. New research has shown that birth order can have an influence on personality. “The Baby Website” (www.thebabywebsite.com) conducted polls using 1000 parents and 1000 children to answer questions on being a middle child.

      Incredibly, 4 out of 10 parents found it so difficult trying to treat their three children equally that they would recommend other parents to just have two. The results also revealed that 50% of the children felt they were treated differently to their other siblings when growing up, whilst 47% felt they had to fight to get their parents attention. The results reveal what many middle children already believe about their family. Both parents and children feel there is no genuine role for the second child to play within the family unit. Being the first born in the family, the eldest child will already have a special relationship with their parents. Whilst being the youngest means being the last born so they adopt the role being the baby of the family. As a result, the child in the middle feels left out.

   Being a middle child myself, I find this research fascinating and can relate it back to the experiences and feelings I had whilst I was growing up and partially still do today. As cruel as it may seem to my parents I still feel as though my parents love Rachel and Meg more than myself, and would give more up more of their time, love and attention for either of them.

    Before I discovered this research however, I believed I was alone in my suspicions of preferential treatment. Having grown up now and approached the subject with many of my friends I find all those who were middle children felt as though they received less love and attention from their parents. “I’m sick of hand-me-downs” my friend James once complained to me “I get the clothes my older brother has grown out of but then my younger brother will just get new clothes bought for him.”

    This common problem also used to be one for me too. By the time Rachel had grown out of her clothes they were considered unfashionable but I still had to wear them anyway. The clothes were never passed down further to Meg however as by then they really were too out of date. As a teenager it hurt slightly to see both my sisters parading around in new garments whilst I was stuck in things I’d already seen my sister wearing for the past couple of years.

       In addition, birth order can be seen to have an affect on the personalities of all three of the children. As the first-born is an only child for a period of time, it seems they become used to being the centre of attention, producing a personality that craves power and influence. The youngest child, having become used to being smaller and less competent than their other siblings, may develop into an adult who expects others to make decisions and take responsibility. The middle child, having experienced neither the rights nor freedoms of the elder child nor the special treatment of youngest, may consequently feel that life is unfair. They may also feel they are unloved or less loved than the others, and develop into an adult who suffers from a negative view in life.

      To add further support to the conflicts of being a middle child, the concept has now been accepted within the expert field and is commonly identified by birth order theorist as “The Middle Child Syndrome”. The “syndrome” has offered an insight into the personality a middle child may have and why they experience feelings of being unwanted and attention seeking.

    The explanation reveals that middle children fight to receive attention from parents or other people, because they feel at many times they are being ignored or dubbed as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle, a child can therefore start to feel insecure.

      On the other hand this concept shouldn’t be taken too negatively. The Baby Website research suggests that that middle children actually fare better in life as a direct result of becoming more independent from an earlier age. A confounding 52% of middle children say they were ‘mothered’ less than their siblings, and therefore learnt things more quickly.

     This means that more than a third were left alone to do their homework, but 45% of them now feel that out of the three children they are academically more advanced and consequently did better at school. (N.B I did find this to be very relevant too, I received 3 A’s at A-level whereas Rachel received 3 C’s)
     Nearly half of middle children also go on to become the highest achievers career wise, finding themselves well-paid professional jobs. On the other hand when it comes to relationships, 26% claim that being a middle child has affected they way they have romantic relationships, with most being pushier to get what they want.

     Overall, being a sibling is not at all that bad. You have a brother or sister to look up to and younger one who you can offer support and guidance. I do love my sisters very much but I can honestly say being a middle child is a situation that I don’t think any child should be put in. Myself and many other fellow middle children experienced jealousy and unequal love from our parents. And after all, three is an impossible number to divide.

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From Halls to House – Things to learn about second year student life!

Ah, the first year of university.

Young, carefree, and you get everything handed on a plate. If you lived in Halls this is most certainly the case. No bills to worry about, cleaners every day, 24 hour security and a guy to let you in your room after you locked yourself out at 3 in the morning. Those were the days.

But for those of you who made it through freshers (or scraped through in most of our cases) and are heading into second year, this could be a chance to get the most valuable lesson of your degree.

Or if you’re a second year already (or any years above) a chance to reflect and perhaps chuckle at the things you wish you had been given a heads up on before.

1) Hunting for the Best House– This will take longer than you think. And actually deserves its own section.

  • If you leave it last minute, you’re going to feel more rushed and desperate to just pick anything. Give yourself plenty of time otherwise you might end up lumbering yourself with a place with a serious mould issue, closet bedrooms and a broken loo. Believe me, it won’t be pretty.

  • Take your time looking round the house, getting the feel of it and picturing yourself in it. Don’t feel rushed by the landlord or pressured to leave by the students. They don’t really want more people trooping round their house every day for the next few months after you so, believe me, they’ll be grateful if you take more of an interest. And talking from experience, we looked round three houses in the first year before we found our not so perfect house for this year. And we looked round fourteen (yes you read that right) before we found our dream one for next year. It’s all about the time.

 

  • Make sure you check every crook and cranny of the house, including all the walls and ceilings of all rooms (especially bathroom) The mould may not stand out straight away but there’s a good chance it’ll be lurking there somewhere.

 

  • Don’t be afraid to take photos or videos! Although you may feel silly, they really help to refresh your memory and if look round more than one house a day it really helps in differentiating between them all!

 2) Beware of the Landlord! – So when you were looking for your house, your future landlord will have been on their best behaviour. Sweet as pie and eager to please. But once your suitcase is over the threshold then it’ll be more like a Jekyl and Hyde scene then the ‘smiley, smiley, flowers and handshakes’ greeting you hoped for. Things will be wrong with the house. And they won’t want to sort it. Period.

 3) Persistence is Key – So these things that are “wrong” with the house…No curtains. Missing chest of drawers. Broken mattress. They sure aren’t going to fix themselves. Ring the landlord and tell them the problem as soon as you notice it. If they say they will and three days down the line they’re still a no show, ring them again. Or hound them with emails to really get the message home. You may feel over the top but you’re not paying 300 odd quid a month to feel springs in your back and have the privilege of keeping your clothes in a pile on the slightly moulding carpet. It’s their house. Their problem.

4) Out of sight…but not really out of the debt collectors minds – Coming from halls to a house brings a small surprise to those serial “light leavers on” (you know who you are…)

You have to pay for what you use. Electric, gas, water, sewerage, TV and internet unfortunately aren’t free for students (though it really should be) and unless your lucky enough to find a place where bills are included then prepare yourself to feel the most broke you’ve ever felt in your life.

Try keep it organised and don’t bury the bills under a pile of junk mail once you’ve almost had a heart attack at the worryingly large number that the piece of paper is demanding you to pay. Pay it. Immediately. Or alternatively wait until you get the threatening debt collectors letter who want to come in and do a supermarket sweep round your home. Up to you.

 5) Knock Knock, anyone home? – With 24-hour security guards keeping the bad guys at bay, halls felt like the safest place in the world to live. Now you’re in a house you need to remember you’re not invisible to the odd crook or two. They know your students (it can be pretty obvious) and they know you have multiple laptops and ipods. They’re just waiting for you to leave a door or window open before they take their chance. You just got to remember the golden rule – that once it’s shut, it’s not really shut until its got a lock through it. Simple.

 6) “All Rodents Welcome” – is this the sign you really want on your house, one that practically begs rats and mice to make a cosy little nest for themselves behind your washing machine or at the back of your cupboard?  Any excuse and they’re in, they’ll especially appreciate it if you tempt them first with a variety of different bin bags floating

He wants a new home!

outside the house or in the garden. You provide the goods, they’ll provide the rat babies. Before you know it you’ll have a family of ten sharing your kitchen and they’ll all fancy a little night time run around your house when you’ve all gone to bed. They are also desperate – they have been known to bite through and munch from (an unopened may I add) bag of Walkers Sensations, which were on the coffee table in the living room. True story. We could hear them ripping it up from the downstairs bedroom.

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Perfect Perfumes – A photo story of my ongoing collection!

After getting ready for a night out, any girl will tell you that the only way to complete your look is with a spritz of your favourite scent. Not only can they make you feel girly and attractive, they make you smell damn fine! 😉

Over the years I’ve accumulated a variety of different bottles, which I like to wear on different occasions. Below I have pictures and a short description of each, including recommendations for who would enjoy these perfumes. Here are just a few of them:

HARAJUKU LOVERS - By Gwen Stefani

These perfumes are from the HARAJUKU LOVERS range by Gwen Stefani. They come in two different sizes, small and large (as seen above) and there are five different bottles to collect. These include “Love”, “Little Angel” (on the left in the picture), “Music”, “Baby” and “G” (on right in picture)  The plastic dolls which also act the lid, makes these perfumes unique and all have a variety of different smells. Lil Angel is more of a sweet scent whilst G has a  more mellow and coconut flavour. I personally like to wear Lil Angel during the day and G during the night and they make great presents for those wanting an unusal perfume. RRP: £20 (though I picked G up in duty free for £16)

AMOR AMOR - By Cacharel

Amor Amor is one of my favourite perfumes of all times. I personally don’t know any other perfume that smells anything like this one, with its sweet smell, boasting flavours of vanilla, jasmin and blackcurrent – which although may sound unusual – really work together. Its perfect for both day and night, and I think any occasion. Makes a good gift for a boyfriend to give to his girlfriend and the name and bottle give a romantic and sensual feel. RRP: £22.50 and comes in 30, 50 and 100ml.

VELVET HOUR - By Kate Moss

I got given Velvet Hour in a gift set for my birthday, so it came with this matching body creme that shares the same scent as the perfume. It’s perfect for moisturising arms and legs after a shower and smells great. This scent is different to the ones above in that its not as sweet and takes on a more woody and floral smell, which gives it a down to earth and casual feel. I like to wear this during the day and to more causal events as its feels more relaxed and informal. RRP: £23.50 and comes in 15, 30, 50, and 100ml

IN2U - By Calvin Klein

The IN2U bottle is unique in that it doesn’t have a lid, instead its designed with a turning base, which reveals the head of the perfume when twisted. It’s also available for men and has the same design but with a blue as opposed to yellow base. This perfume is definitely one for summer and again, one for casual occasions as again it has a light and fresh smell. Its also quite fruity yet floral, boasting flavours of pink grapfruit fizz and sugar orchid. Perfect for those who birthdays fall in the summer. RRP – £22

NINA - By Nina Ricci

Nina is another one of my favourite perfumes in that its extremley feminine scent which is again, quite sweet, yet not overbearing and has just the right tones to make it classy yet innocent. The bottle is cute, shaped like a piece of fruit ( there is supposed to be another silver leaf on the bottle but it snapped it off – perhaps a flaw of the design?!) and as its light pink colour will appeal to any girly girl. The scent itself is quite fruity as well and I like to wear it during the night and to more formal occasions. RRP: £23.50

FUEL FOR LIFE UNLIMITED - By Diesel

Fuel For Life (unlimited) is by far one of the muskiest scents I have. It has a real spice and woody smell intwined and is something I wear on formal occasions and when trying to impress (e.g job interview) as it is quite a mature and sophisticated smell. The brown bottle with gold writing reflects this feel with its 1920’s french image. I think this is good present for mums or for christmas/winter birthdays as it does feel seasonal. RRP: £29.50

I hope you have enjoyed looking at my perfume collection, maybe it will help in getting the perfect gift for that special person or perhaps just to treat yourself! 😉

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Analysing the web usability for Times Online – www.timesonline.co.uk.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk

The Times Online

 

As part of an assignment for the Web Communications unit for my Communications and Media degree, I wrote a 1,500 word essay on the usabilty of the Times Online website.

Below is a 400 word edited version of the assignment:

*Searchability – After simply entering ‘The Times’ into a Google search, ‘The Times Online’ is one of the first sites to appear out of a possible 187 million. This makes the searchability excellent. Even when the wording is changed and different words are utilized such as simply typing “time” into the engine, the website still remains at the top of the search.

*Usability – The site is extremely technically stable, offering quick access to other pages and large images and videos loaded with ease.

* Navigation – Times Online provides a good navigation bar at the top of the page, yet the page is cluttered with links to take you elsewhere. This gives the user too much choice and feels cluttered.

* Design – The design of the Times Online is simple yet not too plain. The white background provides it with a professional aura and consequently makes the text easier to read. A simple colour pattern is also employed containing blue, green and black. These colours compliment each other well and make the page seem interesting yet the colour is used sparingly.

* Content – There is a rich source of content all across the site. The home page however, has perhaps too much content. Everything is presented in large lists for pages down, which does not provide easy usability to the reader. However the stories are all given their own headlines, of which act as link to send the user to the page to read more, thus meaning they are well signposted.

* Video – There is a specific navigation tool at the top of the home page dedicated to video. Once on the page there is one main video that takes up the first part of the page. Although it loads quickly, it is unclear as to what relevance this video is to the news, e.g. headline news, category, thus making it feel ill-placed.

* Audio – Podcasts are available to the user, yet they are not located in the navigation tools but at the very bottom of the home page. The podcast then have to be downloaded in order to listen; hence they are not available straight away. However unlike videos, the podcast is provided with text explaining the topic and background of the audio so the user is not left uncertain as to the podcasts intentions.

* Interactivity – The user can interact with the site by commenting on stories, yet they have to have to be signed up to the site before they can do so. There are no apparent polls or forums for the user to participate.

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Crazy in Love

This is a short story I wrote outside of the course which uses two narrators to tell a story of a  complicated relationship. The style is fragmented and the gaps in between the lines represent the fragmented and ongoing thoughts of the narrator as they appear in their heads. It does get complicated so I hope everything becomes clear at the end. Enjoy!

*

It was a long four hours that passed.

 I waited, but not like how they do in the cheesy chick flicks. I didn’t sit by the phone all evening and not move my eyes from it, willing it to ring. Instead I took it round with me in my pocket, waiting to feel the vibration.

Any minute now, I thought as my ready-meal lasagne baked slowly in the oven. Then randomly, I would just forget. Forget I was waiting for a text or call from you and I would get immersed in an activity.

Someone put the TV on and we all gathered round to watch Eastenders.

 I would be there for you, I thought to myself.

 Some hours after watching TV and the laughter and general chat, my housemates drifted off slowly to their own beds. Soon it was just me and the TV, alone. Then Balls of Steel came on. One of your favourite shows. I was instantly reminded of you.

 My phone was removed from the pocket. I had not yet felt the vibrations, but who knows. It was thick material and I hadn’t been paying attention. A blank screen offered the answer I knew was already there before the question had even been formed.

Not a chance, my childish conscience spoke to me. Not even a chance he would want to talk to you.

 *

You had been so perfect when we first met.

Aren’t they all though? Isn’t that we all say when a new person comes into our lives and we are baffled by their brilliance and charm?

But you were different. And I knew that right from the start. We came together for a reason and it was fate, not coincidence. Fate.

Your dusty blonde hair was drenched from the rain outside the pub I had been drinking in. My hair was wet and blonde too, that’s why you stood out so quickly. We matched.

 I caught your eye, your smoky grey eyes, from across the room when you came through the door, shaking out the water from your face like a wet dog.It made me smile and you noticed. You smiled back, warm and friendly like you normally are.

 For the rest of the night I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. The chemistry pinging between us felt powerful enough to charge up the whole room. It was literally electric.

Six months down the line, we were inseparable.

*

The rain was pounding down the day I met you. So fierce that it drenched me as soon as I stepped off the bus. I ran into the first pub I saw, attempting in vain to shake the water from my messy hair.

I saw you across the room, ordering a round of pints at the bar. My kind of girl, I remember thinking. Your hair was the thing I noticed first, long and cascading down your back in beautiful, loose, curls. The bar lights shone across it and I thought you looked gorgeous.

I smiled at you but you didn’t notice, you were trying to juggle three pints in your small delicate hands. I went up to the bar, but you had already sat down with your friends and were handing out the drinks.

Eventually I caught your eye but you looked away, a shade of red beginning to creep up your flawless face. I saw you whispering to your friends, giving me a few sly glances at the same time.

It sounds soppy for a boy, especially one that takes pride in their single status, but I was in love. Head over heels and crazy for you.

Six months down the line, we were inseparable.

*

The next day there was still no text from you.

 I had gone over the possibilities repeatedly. And that’s when I realised. You must have lost your phone. I knew you were going to a party in town so it could have easily happened. After all, you have lost three different phones within the last two months.

So I decided to go shopping, take my mind of everything. I didn’t understand why you were being so cold.

But even shopping couldn’t keep us apart. I spotted you in the que for McDonalds – probably ordering your usual – strawberry milkshake and a cheeseburger. I hesitated before I walked over to greet you. After all, you could have borrowed someone else’s phone to let me know where you were.

But never mind, the amount of second chances you’ve given me, I’m sure you deserve one.

So, here goes.

*

I put my arm round your waist when you came up to me. I didn’t want you to still be annoyed that I hadn’t text you back last night. I’d been at Joe’s party and my phone ran out of battery.

“You OK?” I whispered in your ear, kissing your cheek and pulling you closer to me. You paused for a bit, turning round slightly to look at something behind you.

“No…well, not really.” you replied, frowning.

“Why, what’s up?” I asked turning round to follow the direction of your gaze. 

 I cut off. I could see exactly what you were looking at. And it was heading right this way.

*

When I came up to you, you had your arm round her. I saw you kiss her cheek too as I was walking towards you.

In broad daylight, when anyone could have seen and told me. Or worse, I could have seen. Which I guess I did, but why weren’t you worried I might have caught you?

I knew you were using her. It was all an act. That time in the pub, we had a real connection.

And you had been texting me for a while. One time you even sent me a joke. Right up until yesterday we had been texting back and forth.

I knew you wanted to be with me, it was just a matter of ditching your so-called “girlfriend” as well.

 I would have you in the end, we matched, remember?

 *

 It’s hard remembering when I first realised Liv was a little clingy.

Maybe I should have realised it six months ago in the pub when she mistook me looking at Bonny for checking her out. I shouldn’t have smiled at her but it just slipped out. A natural reaction for my player-ego that can occur when any girl pays me attention.

I don’t even know how she got my number. At first I was flattered, I even agreed to meet up a few times, just as a casual thing. And when things with Bonny got serious, I stopped texting.

Yet over the last two months I was still faced with a bombardment of texts from her. And then calls. Followed by emails, Facebook messages, even Tweets. So I had to end up replying. It was Bonny who encouraged me, just so I could get her to back down a bit. But it made it worse. Liv wouldn’t give up easily.

I blocked her number, I changed my number. Three times in fact, in the past two months. I told her I loved Bonny and I didn’t like her at all. I even text her last night to tell her.

I thought she would have got the hint by now. But its obvious it’s just gone so far that she’s now chosen to follow me. Enough is enough.

*

 “Just leave me alone you weirdo!” The words come tumbling out of his angry mouth, hitting me in the face with its hurtful force.

“Leave. Me. Alone! Do you get it? I have a girlfriend and I love her. I don’t like you. In fact I despise you! You need to stop stalking me!”

 I stared at him in dumb disbelief. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. We both knew having Bonny as a girlfriend was a cover. Although you couldn’t see my bump I was five months pregnant and we knew Kyle’s family couldn’t find out he had a child. He would be disowned. So Bonny was just a red herring if you will. Someone to just cover up the dirt tracks. We were still an item. At least I thought we were, because as of a few weeks he’d become very short with me. And last night was awful when he refused to text back after I asked about any baby names he liked.

To make it worse I think my baby and I are actually getting dumped. Publicly. In McDonalds. 

 *

I do know that the baby is mine. I’m not that ignorant. But I don’t want anything to do with it. Having Bonny as a cover-up girlfriend turned out to the biggest mistake and bonus rolled into one. I fancied her from the beginning and I did end up falling in love with her.

Liv wouldn’t let the baby thing drop though. She kept harassing me about it, trying to get me to be excited and enthusiastic. But how could I when the only thing I felt that for was Bonny?

The stalker story came easily enough. Bonny basically started it herself when she noticed Livs’ constant attempt to keep in touch with me.

 It’s a shame that’s how it will have to be now. Though I couldn’t help feeling horribly guilty when Livs’ face crumpled up and tears filled her eyes after I shouted at her. But she fled pretty quickly, which I was grateful for.

 All my friends and the people in the que must have just thought I know some weird person. They don’t realise that, really, I was that person.

 

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